News flash: women aren’t running to the pharmacy in droves to buy Addyi, the drug that’s supposed to increase their sex drive. How could it be that women are so disinterested when a similar drug that boosts male libido—it’s called Viagra, maybe you’ve heard of it—sells like hotcakes?
In light of the underwhelming response for this miracle drug, The Washington Post asked six female sex experts a very simple question: what would make women more interested in sex? They responded with some fascinating suggestions. In no particular order: improve sex education for women and people who have sex with them (great idea!), train doctors to talk openly about sex with their patients (practical, we like it), encourage women to advocate for their needs both inside and outside of the bedroom, and provide women with the option to freeze their eggs, reducing the day-to-day pressure of their biological clock.
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That last one, a point made by sex therapist and social worker Constance Quinn, piqued our interest. As Quinn notes, “I am currently working with at least eight women in their early 30s who feel like time is ticking for them and cannot focus on the process of enjoying dating or choosing not to date because all roads need to lead to finding your ‘unicorn.’” But with the security provided by egg freezing, she says, “You don’t have to live like you are searching for the Holy Grail every night of the week… Go have great sex and feel like a million bucks.”
It’s no secret that many women feel preoccupied with deducing whether or not their current partner will be financially secure and emotionally supportive for the next 50 years, whether or not they’ll be a great parent and a ton of fun to grow old with, if they’ll want to live in the same city and travel to the same places she does (would this person agree to the New Zealand honeymoon?), and of course if they’ll want to settle down and get started making a baby, all before year’s end. What’s news is that all of this theoretical planning for a near-future family, prompted by internal and external pressures, actually distracts women from enjoying sex.
News, maybe—but not all that surprising.
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